ShareThisApply Getting to Yes to a property boundary problem
Completed
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I've inherited a house in the Midwest that I'm selling, and it turns out that some the landscaping extends onto a neighbor's property. There was a verbal agreement that allowed this, but now the neighbor wants the landscaping removed. We're in the middle of selling, so this is urgent and important (for you Covey fans). Instead of my usual ad hoc negotiating techniques I'll apply those from "Getting to Yes" (GTY) by Fisher and Ury. I don't have much time, though, so ... crash course! |
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I'll try the ideas during the negotiations and subjectively compare to how it might have gone if I'd not used them. Tests: How much stress, how does the relationship fare, how long does it take, how easy is it to apply GTY. |
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When we have an agreement. ASAP, hopefully. |
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Enjoy learning the method, keeping calm when talking to the neighbor, feeling satisfaction from improving myself and trying something new, observing the neighbor (and myself) as creatures with interesting behaviors (HSOD - Healthy Sense of Detachment), and not trying to get too worked up - this can be done, it's not a huge deal. |
Comments & Observations
Matthew Cornell Getting my head around possible solutions, talking to lawyer, realtor, and brother. Had stress dreams last night, so it's on my mind, clearly. They think he may simply be angling for some money. Variables include what we do (obviously), who pays for it, and how soon it's done. One possibility: An easement. Waiting for the person's phone #, then I'll call today. Trying to keep it light, be open during the call, and not over-think. (Well, 2 out of three ain't bad ;-)
Jan 16, 2010
Matthew Cornell OK, I finished my review of the concepts - at least as much as I see fit (anti-perfection in place :-). [Side note: Listening to books on tape is sloooooow compared to reading. Esp. in this case where the book is very well organized for skimming the major concepts. I'll aim for this level of clarity in writing mine.)
Talked with my realtor and attorney Fri, talked with realtor today, sketched out an agenda based on GTY, and made the call. Not surprisingly, his suggestion was position-based (which the book is critical of): Suggest buying a strip of property from him.
Left a message. Boy, it's interesting how my adrenalin shot up.
We'll see!
Jan 17, 2010
Brock Tice My adrenaline shot up just reading it! I found Getting To Yes to be a real change in perspective, and have been through a bunch of successful negotiations based on it, many of which might not even immediately be labeled "negotiations". However, they were definitely not hostile situations. This sounds like it could potentially be. I'm looking forward to seeing how it works out, particularly whether he really is stuck on getting money for property, or if it's masking something else.
Jan 18, 2010
Matthew Cornell Thanks, Brock. How long did it take you to get confident with applying the gty ideas in practice? I'm starting out the gate running (whatever the metaphor is) by using the ideas with this significant negotiation. Why not?
Re hostile, that's an interesting point. I've been serious about this, and now it's time to lighten up and get curious. What is he like? How does he enter the process? What is he after? What will his response be to my effort to bring him into the method?
Finally, I've not heard back from him yet. I'll give it another day, the follow up. I definitely want to get this moving.
Jan 18, 2010
Matthew Cornell OK, the fellow called me back this morning, apologizing for the delay. We started by chatting 10 or 15 minutes, catching up on our lives, and a little about our parents as neighbors.
Early on I mentioned it's being a shared problem we inherited, and that I was comitted to working with him to find a fair solution, but I'm not sure he got it. I was trying to get him thinking about his being responsible for helping fix it ($ included).
I fought the urge to jump right in to the problem, because I wanted to go in PIOC [1] order, starting with "P" (People), i.e., to establish a relationship. After that we talked about the problem. Perhaps not surprisingly, he came to the conversation with the position of restoring the line by removing the landscaping in the spring, soonest. The implication, best I could tell, was that I (or our buyer) would be responsible for the activity and cost. I didn't push that and, instead, tried to bring it around to "I" (his Interests). He didn't have much to say, even when I tried "I thought about it in your shoes, and I'd be worried about..."
OK, fine. So I moved on to "O" (Options) and asked if he'd thought about other options, such as our purchasing the strip of land. He said he had talked about that particular one with his wife, but decided their mortgage wouldn't allow it. I said that if it ended up being something he's interested in, I'd be happy to have my attorney look for a way to make it work. I then said "I'm just brainstorming. What about..." then mentioned our buying an easement. I also applied the GTY idea of throwing out some crazy ones like his purchasing mom's house, or us buying his. The point was to try to expand his thinking around options. To make it explicit, I said "Heck, it's your property. You could even bulldoze it off your side." He admitted laughingly to thinking about it, but said he wouldn't be a jerk. I was tempted to add "Of course if you did that without permission you might have a lawsuit to deal with," (referring to adverse possession [2]), but I let the point go.
We ended it with his saying he'd talk about selling or renting the strip to us with his wife, but he didn't sound encouraging. I think he's stuck on the option of removing it. I'd prefer one of those to moving, because the latter would involve our buyer having to be involved. We'll see!
[1] GTY is a method centered around four considerations (PIOC):
o People: Separate people from the problem
o Interests: Focus on interests, not positions (interests always underlie positions)
o Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do
o Criteria: Insist that the result be based on objective standards
[from Core Negotiation Concepts, http://www.csun.edu/~hfmgt001/negot-core.doc]
[2] http://www.expertlaw.com/library/real_estate/adverse_possession.html
Jan 23, 2010
Matthew Cornell Called him Mon night. Very curious that he's so slow to respond. I'm thinking of possible responses he might come back with. Least expected: Agreeing to selling or an easement. I'm now thinking that not getting agreement may not be such a bad thing. Also, I'll be prepared to push back (turn up the heat) if he wants to go ahead with asking it be moved.
Feb 06, 2010
Brock Tice Probably he expected you to just fold over, and now that that's not happening, he's not sure where to go.
Feb 07, 2010
Matthew Cornell You might be right, Brock. I've told my realtor what's up, and hopefully our buyer won't have a problem with it. Surprising!
Feb 08, 2010
Matthew Cornell My realtor went ahead and talked yesterday to the abutter, who now wants the landscaping off his property, but is willing to give our buyer five years. Apparently he's not interested in other options. Why he didn't call me, I don't understand. DEC: We'll be candid with the buyer, explain the situation, and offer a few thousand $ to cover the eventual expense. Our approach will be "we didn't know it would come up", "it's the best we could do", and "hey, who knows - after five years he might not even care anymore, and you'll be $__ ahead". Hopefully this will be acceptable to them. We'll need some simple, legal language in the contract with the buyer, to protect everyone from any future communication-related problems :-) Again, the focus is to get the house sold, not (nec) to make everyone good neighbors.
Feb 11, 2010
Matthew Cornell The buyer took our offer: I'll write a $2,000 check to them at closing to compensate for the five years. My attorney will draft a paragraph that says they can't hold us responsible for problems after the sale. This is great! I'll hold off marking the project complete until the day of closing - call me paranoid.
Feb 14, 2010
Matthew Cornell House sold today, so marking as done! I'm very happy I applied the book's techniques. It gave me a framework for handling a stressful and uncertain process, and was superior to what I suspected I would have tried without it. Good experiment!
Mar 22, 2010